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Thursday, 28 February 2008

Currently Listening
Carnival Ride
By Carrie Underwood
see related
So today i figure out my whole 4 year plan. i'm determined to do well and to graduate! im actually really excited! i feel so much more relieved with my future plans set out; its like a burden off my shoulders, thank god. so finals are coming up, which is definitly something im freaking out about. I just wanna study hard and get it over with then go home for spring break. working hard will pay off. Lately i have been more confident with school. Ive havnt been procrastinating or forgetting to do homework or anything like that. Except laziness is starting to get to me, which is something i need to stop. ive been sleeping in really late and sometimes even skipping classes. yuck! im excited for this weekend because brooke and i are going to go apartment shopping. that should be exciting. we are probably going to drive around bellingham to find the perfect place for us for next year. Not that the dorm life wasnt a good experience.

ive actually been thinking a lot about my relationship with god. Its been on my mind 24/7. i want to get back in touch with my christianity but its so hard as a college student. i need something to boost up my love for god. maybe a mission trip in the summer with jon and brooke? i need a miracle....

Monday, 25 February 2008

Currently Listening
Just Like You
By Keyshia Cole
see related
my stressed-out ranting

Today was a stressful day. i decided to sit on my butt all day to figure out my four year plan at western. since im signing up for classes for the new spring quarter i decided to organize my credits and classes. Its crazy how much work i have to go through to get to where i want to be. I used to think that taking the easiest routes would be the fastest path to get to my goal, but i came to a conclusion of how i should work hard and try my best and fight through the difficult classes i would have to come across...i figured out that the challenges will build me into a better person. im going to come across obstacles and i guess im ready to fight through them. Plus i know that god wouldnt put me in any situations where i wouldnt want to be in. He knows its going to benefit me and help me to be successful, and i trust him.
I have been going crazy lately cause im not sure if im satisfying myself. I dont feel as happy as i used to be and its driving me crazy. i dont know whats missing and how i can find happiness. what the heck is missing? hopefully ill figure that out soon and it better be soon enough if not im going to go psycho!! it might be that i need more of god...but who doesnt...less partying and more of god perhaps? i need people in my life who are going to push me up not bring me down...Sometimes i even think that western isnt a place i should be. I feel like i should try to go somewhere else...transfer to california maybe? i feel like i gave western a shot, but its not the place for me...maybe i need to wait it out more? Maybe it will get better next year when i have my own place? i have a weird feeling that when i go back home for the summer i wont ever want to come back...i need my family..i hate this whole long distance thing. Albert Schweitzer once said "happiness is the key to success", but if i dont have happiness how will i ever succeed?
i just keep telling myself "everythings in gods hands...everything will be okay" and ill continue to do it...

Thursday, 19 July 2007

Dear Xanga,
so i havnt done a xanga entry in maybe a year? but i thought i would write one for some strange reason. i didnt even know that my xanga still existed until i received a xanga email on yahoo. How strange.
Since the last time i had written an entry, i was a lot different, considering i aged, HA! other than that since the last entry i was acccepted into college, Western Washington University, which i will be attending this fall. i have been working at abercrombie kids at the Southcenter mall for couple months now.
Senior year went by way to fast for me. i feel like i should be a senior this fall instead of a college student. its hard for me to tell stories about my past in highschool, as if highschool was so "long ago." Even though im 18 now, i still feel like im a sophomore in high school, its crazy.
im just waiting for summer to pass so i can enter the real world, with responsibilities and having no parents yapping at me all the time. but it honestly scares me because im scared ill lost control and not study as hard as i want. but i guess thats why i have my friends, such as my roomate Brooke summerfield! but i shouldnt be so dependant on her, i need to fight through college struggles and have strong morals in order for me to succeed.
There so many things on my mind i want to express on this thing, but its gettting late. i will post more enteries when i feel like yapping about my life ha! goood bye for now. i cant beleive i jsut posted a entry...how DORKY ha!

Wednesday, 22 November 2006

hello wow i havnt written in this thing in forever. here's an update =)
well, im turning in my uw application on demcember 1st. which is about 8 days. im pretty pumped up about turning in my personal essay...ah! thanksgiving is tomorrow and i hope i eat lots of turkey!

Saturday, 17 December 2005

someone run away with me forever....i need to get away from everything. i say this because i realized that im BREAKING down...everything thats coming to me...is just making me WEAKER....and i cant help to say that.....im losing it. i noticed that everything that had come to me...like problems or conflicts...i just accepted them....i didnt take it in and i was always hiding it with my smiles...and i cant stand doing this....maybe its cos i dont have god in my life right now..........im losing it...